When faced with applicants of otherwise equal qualifications, colleges use personal statements—which showcase your values, insight, emotional maturity—as a tiebreaker. Your essays will tell admissions officers what matters to you, why they matter to you, and what kind of friend you would be to a fellow classmate.

Imagine yourself the conductor of an orchestra, responsible for unifying the musicians, setting the tempo, and shaping the overall sound of the ensemble. You must also select new members, and one day two violinists come walking through your office door. They both passed the audition with flying colors; their résumés reveal equally impressive pedigree, education, and experience; they are competing for one last coveted chair in your orchestra.

What to do? How to pick? Given the violinists look exactly the same on paper, you might like a chance to speak to them to understand their philosophies, motivations, and expectations to make sure they would fit in with the rest of the musicians and staff. This is necessary because, remember, as a conductor, you should not only ensure top-tier musical performances, but also ensure rehearsals and discussions are productive, well-facilitated, and friendly.

College admissions officers are very much like orchestra conductors in this sense. When 200 academically impressive but faceless students send in their résumés fighting for 100 spots, personality (to put it simply) becomes the final differentiating factor. The metaphorical “tempo,” the way a student can shape the “overall sound” of an institution is exactly what admissions officers look for after they get a sense of a student’s academic merit. Indeed, colleges are trying to assemble a bunch of good students first and foremost, but they also need to know what kind of roommate, teammate, lab partner, business associate you would be.

This is where the personal statements come in. When faced with applicants of otherwise equal qualifications, colleges use these essays—which showcase your values, insight, emotional maturity—as a tiebreaker. Your essays will give an admissions officer an idea of what matters to you, why they matter to you, and what kind of friend you would be to a fellow classmate.

The purpose of the personal statement, as I have described it so far, may seem abstract, judgmental, even a little cruel. But this is because we have only considered the personal statement from an admission officer’s point of view. As a student, you should view the personal statement in a completely different light.

Practically speaking, the essay has the special property of being the only part of the application that is fully under your control. Think of the times your standardized test scores have been affected by bad luck or anxiety. Think of the times your GPA took a hit due to your past educational circumstances or harsh grading by teachers. Think of the times someone outperformed you in competitions or how your opportunities were limited in an extracurricular activity of your choice. With the personal essay, though, no external factor can get in the way of you doing a good job. It’s all you. You get to decide how to present yourself, not necessarily as a student, a competitor, or a team member, but as a person. The fact that you have full control over your own representation should be motivation enough to pour your whole heart into the essay.

So, what do you want a friend to see in you? What challenges have you endured? What are your recurring daydreams? What identities do you occupy when you are not required to wear any masks? These are just a few of the infinite questions you can ask yourself when considering how to best represent yourself. Clearly these are not questions with simple answers, but it is necessary that you overcome the mental blocks and discomfort that comes with thinking about yourself.

Ultimately, I would suggest you think of the personal statement as a self-portrait whose completion is a rite of passage: passage from adolescence to adulthood, from dependence to independence, from one country to another, even from one social class to another. Soon you will be cut off from the proverbial stick and carrot that parents and teachers have used to goad you on through your educational journey so far. And it is through knowing yourself—confronting your fears and insecurities but also recognizing your strengths and beliefs—that you can stay in control of your life as you propel into the future.

So let this personal statement be an anchor for your soul, a respawning checkpoint, a totem in the dreamworld, a declaration of confident individuality…something to keep your feet on the ground while you enjoy the most freedom you have ever had.